I know now, with the huge benefit of
hindsight and a lot time spent with drunken friends explaining it all to me,
how all my problems are somebody else's fault.
I know
that they are just being kind, of course, as there were a lot of the places
where I personally went wrong along the worrisome, winding way of my worthless,
wasted life, none of which, unfortunately, explains my bizarre use of such
gratuitous alliteration that even I am embarrassed about it. Sorry.
Anyway,
I thus see crystal-clear that if I had made even one correct decision anywhere
along the way, then today I would be rich, handsome, popular, happy, loving,
respected and trusting, instead of, well, you know, this.
Of
course, there are the obvious benefits of being a paranoid, cynical, hateful
old man following the Austrian school of economics.
Thus
educated in The Only True Economic Theory (OTET), I am looking forward to being happily and
embarrassingly wealthy, at least in a relative sense, when gold and silver
shoot to the moon in price and everything else turns into (as they say in
Spanish ) El Crapola.
This is
as it must be because the horrid Federal Reserve, the incompetent European
Central Bank, and the corrupt International Monetary Fund are creating so much
money, so impossibly-much money, so horribly much money that burning inflation
in consumer prices must necessarily result.
I can
see the skeptical look on your face, questioning my statement that
"burning inflation in consumer prices must result" from so much
money-creation.
So, before
you say "Are you sure?", or "I think that is debatable, Mr.
Mogambo", or "You filthy, lying, pig bastard!", let me explain
that it is because -- and this is the Very Telling Point (VTP) of the whole
thing! -- prices have always risen when the money supply was expanded! Always!
Over thousands of years!
I bring
this up, not just because the current, fashionable-yet-stupid, new-age,
neo-Keynesian econometric monetary inflation crap ("Central banks gone
wild!") scares the hell out of me, and scares all educated people, too,
but because of a little blurb in an article in Bloomberg Businessweek magazine.
The
article is about Ben Bernanke, a guy for whom I grudgingly put aside my disdain
for him and his stupid brand of economics so as to act professionally in my
role as Big Chief Editor Mogambo (BCEM), I have conservatively and
professionally classified him as a raving neo-Keynesian econometric academic
nitwit, and who is disastrously the current chairman of the evil Federal
Reserve.
About
his policies, Peter Coy writes "Take this little quiz to see how much you
know about Bernanke's monetary policy derring-do. Have the central bank's asset
purchases since August 2008 increased banks' lendable reserves by a) 25 percent,
b) 50 percent, or c) 100 percent?"
He
could probably tell by the way my eyes glazed over that I did not know the
exact figure, and never even thought about it, to tell you the truth.
Thankfully
Mr. Coy did not immediately launch into the usual taunting I usually get,
mostly along the lines of "So, The Great Mogambo (TGM), for once in his
arrogant, overbearing life, doesn't know the answer to a simple question?"
If I
don't take action to stop them right there, the average person will continue
"Is this TGM, the snotty guy who thinks he knows everything about
everything, especially how the horrid Federal Reserve creating so unbelievably
much excess money and credit over the last 25 years has destroyed the economy,
is still destroying the country by, and by extension the world, with horrendous
inflation in prices, monstrous un-payable debts, an economy riddled with
cancerous, ruinous mal-investment and an adversarial regulatory
government?"
About
this time, I have found that the best way to end this rude line of questioning
is to graciously interrupt by saying "Shut up!", then saying it over
and over until they, you know, shut up.
Then I
gently answer their probing questions with "Yes, it's me, TGM, the
blowhard who is constantly shouting how one would have to be an idiot NOT to
buy gold, silver and oil when faced with such an economic calamity, and thus I
call you 'moron', as I am sure that you have not bought them, else you would
not address me in such a rude manner instead of falling to your knees to
worship me, loudly singing my praises, including about how handsome I am and
how wonderfully my darling blue eyes twinkle with a kind of inner light, and
thanking, thanking, thanking me repeatedly for the wisdom of True Mogambo
Enlightenment (TME) that I have given you!"
Mr. Coy
obviously does not want to get dragged into that whole weird scene, and so
instead of him saying "You tell 'em, Mogambo!", he goes immediately
on to write, surprisingly with not an exclamation point in sight, "It's a
trick question. The correct answer is d) 80,000 percent, from less than $2
billion before the financial crisis to around $1.5 trillion now."
80,000
percent! Yikes! Alas, economies will be destroyed, currencies will be destroyed
and everyone will suffer! Notice all the exclamation points!!
At that
rate, that's when relatives and miscellaneous people will come wandering in,
staggering as if in a daze, over to my house, carefully standing outside the
clearly demarcated fire-control zone perimeter around the Mogambo Ultimate
Dual-Mode Offensive And Defensive Bunker (MUDMOADB), where they are tearfully
shouting out to me that they want to "borrow" some money that I know,
that they know, that we all know, they can never pay back.
They
will finally ask the question "Do you enjoy seeing us suffer?"
Well,
wondering what I think about people getting what they deserve is a good
question!
And
here's a good question for them! "Why do you cluster in a small group like
that, out in the open, where a short burst could take you all out at once,
instead of taking cover and dispersing yourselves around me in a
pincer-movement flanking maneuver, which shows at least a minimum of
competence?"
Another
good question for them is "Why do you want to borrow money from me when
you could just cash in some of your own gold, silver and oil stocks that you
have accumulated over the years, like to told you to do all through those
selfsame years?"
They
will have an answer for that, though:
They will say they "forgot" to buy gold, silver and oil!
Hahaha! They forgot!
It's
like they think I never heard them talking about me behind my back, saying
things like "Mogambo is a stupid-head gold bug!" and "Why is he
always ragging on the Federal Reserve?" and "Does he always smell
like that?"
Well, thanks
to the inflation in prices that follows an inflation in the money supply, they
will be standing at my door, their savings gone, or almost gone, after always
paying higher and higher prices to maintain their standard of living as long as
they could.
And
they kept it up the whole time that prices were rising, their incomes not
increasing (assuming they still had jobs!), taxes were rising, and returns on
assets lagged, assuming they hadn't already fallen to their real-world, and
drastically lower, value, wiping them out.
Their
few remaining paper dollars almost worthless in terms of buying power,
reflected in the terrible inflation in prices, and they are hungry, and
desperate, and they have nowhere else to turn, and blah blah blah.
Little
do they know that, if they had read history, they should cheer up, as this is only
the start of the fun part of currency debasement by over-issuance. Hahahaha!
Believe
me, it gets much, MUCH worse from here! And for a long time, too!
I am
sure you noticed how I bravely laugh in the face of such impending misery and
deprivation, which I bravely do because prospering in such apocalyptic times is
as easy as buying gold, silver and oil!
And how
can you NOT be carefree and bravely laugh when you are busily saying
"Whee! This investing stuff is easy!"? Whee!
hi Richard
ReplyDeleteI enjoy reading your wisdom from time to time. I am with you on the metals. Since I am even more pathetic than you,I have a bit of silver but but cannot afford gold, I have been saving 999 nickle. The new change in Canada is all made from steel. Do you think there could be a day when a nickle is worth a dollar?
Hi Novajohnny, I'm glad I am not the only poster on Mogambo's blog.
DeleteIt is hard to say when a Canadian nickel/nickle/five cent coin will be worth a dollar, back a few years ago they were worth fifteen cents in melt value. The site coinflation.com/canada lists the going melt price of Canadian coins.
Buying nickels (and copper cents) at face value is a great way to diversify leftover gold/silver/oil investment money. Look what happened to silver coins in the 1960's, the JMRs back then knew to grab every silver coin they could while the non-JMRs stood idly by, the JMRs grew wealthy from their silver hunt while the do nothing non JMRs grew poorer due to inflation.
Getting nickel at face value is like getting in on the ground floor investment. Keep buying gold, silver, oil and copper and nickel.
All Hail Mogambo!
Thanks for replying Richard, you have made my night.......Hail Mogambo!!!!!!!
DeleteI'm not Richard/Mogambo, but thanks for the complement.
Delete