Thursday, September 13, 2012

Email from Junior Mogambo Ranger (JMR)

September 13, 2012

Mogambo Guru


I was immediately intrigued with a particular email I recently received when I noticed that it was, for a pleasant change of pace, not venom-spewing hate mail or a death threat, like, for example, this other one from this morning. 

It reads "Dear Stupid Mogambo Idiot (SMI), I think you should just shut up your stupid loud mouth, like your wonderful wife tells you.  And help out around the house sometimes, too, but you never do because you are just an irritating, lazy old man who spends his time complaining about the stupid Federal Reserve creating so much excess money that We're Freaking Doomed (WFD) to be destroyed by inflation in consumer prices, like I care about any of that monetary crap when I am up to here in laundry."

The writer, obviously a blubbering nutcase, continued "If I was your wife, what I would really want is for you to take the garbage out and wash the damned car, and maybe stop being such a distant, ineffective father and an annoying, worthless husband who only did one good thing in his whole life, which was to buy gold, silver and oil because the evil Federal Reserve was creating so much money, and the prices of gold, silver and oil zoomed just like you said they would, and they will surely continue to rise, just like you said they will, but which has nothing to do with your being such a lousy father and crappy husband.  (Signed) Anonymous Person."

You can see the kind of abuse I get from total strangers, which is, now that you mention it, highly reminiscent of the crap I take around here, too.

Instead, I am happy to say that the better email was from Junior Mogambo Ranger (JMR) Burt L., who sent some interesting news. 

Beginning with the standard salutation of groveling subservience "Magnificent Mogambo Master", he went on to write "I went to the Enterprise Florida web site and found the attached 2009 through 2011 chart of (primarily gold) exports to Switzerland," which he dutifully included so that I could see for myself.

Sure enough, the Florida-Origin Exports to Switzerland show that "Gold (Incl Plat Plated), Unwr, Semifr Or Powder" increased from $42.2 million in 2010, to $201.6 million in 2011, almost a five-fold increase in one year! One state to one country! And little ones, at that!

Now, $201.6 million in exports, of what appears to be gold, is certainly a lot of money, and it is just about enough to get me the through the weekend, anyway. I laugh at my own joke "Hahahaha!"

Perhaps you noticed that I am laughing through my tears, as, in fact, in no year did anyone ever give me $201.6 million, while almost every year nobody gave me anything but a hard time and/or a Royal Screw Job (RSJ), which is kind of like an ordinary "hard time," but with an additional punishment that you pay out lots of dollars, that you don't believe you needed to pay, but there is nothing that you can do about it, and nothing that you can prove.

All you can do is go down there, storming in, blabbering incoherently in an indignant rage and yell at the manager "Well, you gave me a Royal Screw Job (RSJ) that time! But the joke's on you! Hahaha!  All those dollars you choked out of me are losing purchasing power with each tick of the clock -- tick, tock, tick, tock! -- because the horrible Federal Reserve keeps creating so much excess money and credit, which dilutes each one of those dollars! Hahahaha! Chump!

"And," continuing in hysterical outrage, "the only satisfaction that I get from this whole disagreeable episode is the knowledge that you are obviously too stupid to understand the need to buy gold, silver and oil when the money supply is being so terrifyingly expanded by the foul Federal Reserve like this, and so you won't buy any, and you will end up broke and busted-out like all the other losers. Loser! Then I shall laugh at YOU! Hahahaha!"

As you can probably tell, after getting another Royal Screw Job (RSJ) in what seems to be a long line of RSJs, I could use $201.6 million right about now, but, unfortunately, we are not talking about me.

And we are not even talking about the $201.6 million in Florida gold exports to Switzerland, but we have moved on, and are now talking about the category of "Waste & Scrap of Prec Metal Or Other Cont Prec Mtl" which was #1 on the list of exports out of Florida to Switzerland.

I am not exactly sure what "Waste & Scrap of Prec Metal Or Other Cont Prec Mtl" is, but I figure it seems to be the "We Buy Gold" people registering a staggering $6,811 million ($6.811 billion!) in precious metals-related exports to Switzerland, which alone represent almost all the Florida 2011 exports to that country, which totaled $7,291.0 million ($7.291 billion).

And this $7,291.0 million in "2011 total Florida exports to Switzerland" was up massively from a paltry $5,011.6 million in 2010, and up more than double from the $3,244.0 million total exports in 2009, two years previous! Wow! What is going on here?

This chart from is full of interesting stuff, like about silver, exports of which increased to $10 million in 2011, up from (according to the chart) literally zero dollars in 2010. 

This is all pretty amazing, as JMR Burt realizes, too, and says "Amazing, since Florida has no gold or silver mines."

"Well," I was tempted to say, "If you think THAT is amazing, then what do you make of exports of  'Silver (Incl Prec Plated), Unwr, Semimfr Or Powder' increasing from literally zero in 2010 to $10 million in 2011, yet which is, according to this report, an increase of an odd 45,494.4%?  You would think going from zero to 10 million would be an infinite increase, wouldn't you?  Not 45,494.4%!  Pretty odd, huh? Huh? Pretty odd, wouldn't you say?"

And this is not the only odd thing!  To prove such a provocative statement, listen as I say "Oddly enough, silver exports from Florida to Switzerland in 2009 show a dash ('-') instead of a zero! Oddly enough, a dash! What is a dash supposed to mean, except as some secret, coded message, probably from a sinister, secret government agency watching your every move, or maybe spies at the corrupt commodity exchanges are communicating with alien space creatures from beyond the solar system?"

And the next two biggest percentage-increases in Florida exports to Switzerland are chump change, being "Lifting, handling, Loading & Unload Machines" (although only $800,000 in 2011, but up an odd 1,755.5% from the zero exports in 2010) and "Screws, Bolts, Nuts, Washers Etc, Iron Or Steel" ($1.1 million in 2011, up 505.9% from 2010 and zero in 2009, which is pretty odd, too).

And oddly enough, Florida exports to Switzerland of "Citrus Fruit, Fresh Or Dried" was only $1.1 million, despite citrus products being The Thing for which Florida is supposedly known.

As a guy who is naturally paranoid and sees conspiracies everywhere, I am instantly on the nervous alert at these odd, and thus scary, goings-on.   I find myself constantly re-evaluating my situation in terms of the nearest exit and where to take cover in the event of a full-scale, all-out, guns blazing, urban-warfare, us-versus-them, dog-eat-dog shoot-out, if it comes to that, and it probably will, if any of those dark, Hollywood post-apocalyptic movies or invasions of space monsters are even REMOTELY true.

Fortunately, one thing I know --for a fact! -- to be true, and not odd, is that gold, silver and oil stocks are the place to be when the government is doing such massive deficit-spending and allowing the Federal Reserve to create so incredibly, impossibly, catastrophically much money and credit.

And, in light of that, for a last bit of "oddly enough" incidents, it is odd that very few people are buying gold, silver and oil at these absolute bargain prices, here at the beginning of the inflationary horror that awaits us.

But for those who do, however, it is "Whee! This investing stuff is easy! And not the least bit odd!"


1 comment:

  1. Now that everyone has heard about QE to infinity, gold, silver and oil are the last refuges we have to protect ourselves (financially) from the day America turns into Wiemarica.
    All Hail Mogambo!