One Smart Thing (OST)

The whole distressing thing is a big stink about nothing.  It started because of The Economist magazine, which unfortunately tends towards that whole ridiculous Keynesian crapola, but which nevertheless, and, I might add, quite paradoxically, had a very interesting article buried on page 75 titled "New Model army," with the subheads "Economics after the crisis" and "Efforts are under way to improve macroeconomic models."

 

First off, I immediately involuntarily laughed the famous Mogambo Laughter of Scorn And Contempt (MLOSAC) at this stupidity of "improving macroeconomic models," my voice dripping with undisguised scorn and contempt, as is implied in the title, which was, in case you forgot, Mogambo Laughter of Scorn And Contempt (MLOSAC).

 

Continuing with this seemingly pointless narrative, I laughed and laughed and laughed beyond the point where I was still actually amused at the idea of the government allowing changing the Keynesian strangle-hold on the economy, until I was finally reduced to loudly dyspeptic chortling, and with an additional angry, sarcastic, altogether snotty tone to my voice, going "Guffaw, guffaw, guffaw!"

 

This guffawing, for some reason, was upsetting to everyone at the office, and they were saying hurtful things like "Shut up! I'm on the phone here!" and even my own boss was yelling "Die, you Irritating Mogambo Bastard (IMB)!"

 

Apparently (and this is the crux of the matter) there are threats of lawsuits over alleged flecks of flying spittle, referred to by the Plaintiffs as Icky Mogambo Cooties (IMC), all according to entirely baseless allegations where evidence is sketchy -- at best! -- beyond the dozen eye-witnesses and those pesky video recordings which have CLEARLY been altered, by a person or persons unknown, to discredit me.

 

I cannot wait to argue my case in court, where my razor-like, legal-eagle razzle-dazzle will skewer the flimsy case of the whiny Plaintiffs, and expose them for the ridiculous, libelous and litigious morons that they are, which I will easily prove by dragging them to the witness stand, by the hair if necessary or if opportunity arises, and asking each of them, under oath, "Have you been smart enough to have been buying gold and silver bullion as part of your investment strategy to protect yourself against the terrifying, ruinous inflation in prices that will inevitably result from the insane levels of inflation in the money supply created by the Federal Reserve so as to feed the gulping, all-devouring gullet of the enormous, bloated, twisted, sick federal government?"

 

They will, of course, all tearfully admit under the relentless pummeling of my pointed questioning that no, they did not buy gold and silver bullion, and they are ashamed. 

 

As an aside, this is to be expected because they are members of "the majority of people," and there is an Iron Law Of Investing (ILOI), as in "inescapable mathematical imperative," that dictates that the majority of investors MUST be wrong most of the time, making them sure losers over the long term.

 

Otherwise, you would have the mathematical near-impossibility of a small minority of investors losing enough money most of the time to make winners of the vast majority of investors over the long term!  Think about it and say "Whoa! Ain't nobody that stupid!"

 

Pounding home the point, I would angrily bang my fist against the table, and ask the terrified witnesses "If the majority of investors were actually right, from where could their profits come, except from the small minority of investors who, boggling the mind, were monumentally wrong most of the time over the long haul?  And to also pay the enormous fees, charges, and expenses of the legions of middlemen and the relentless taxes of a ravenous government? Huh? Where? From where do you think the money could possibly come?  Answer me, puny Earthling! Resistance is futile!"

 

At about this time in my brilliant legal defense, the way I figure it, is when the judge is screaming for the Bailiff to haul me away and put me in jail where I never again get to eat delicious beef tacos, with their crunchy corn tortillas proving the perfect wrapping for a full layer of crisp, cool lettuce and delicious sour cream, plus a sweet salsa, whereupon I will wake up in a cold sweat, and then realize with a note of relief that I was dreaming the whole time, I am not really a lawyer, and the only things I know about law are from watching old episodes of Perry Mason on TV ("Objection, your Honor! This testimony is incompetent, irrelevant and immaterial!" "Objection sustained!" says the judge).

 

 

Anyway, the reason for my laughing so uproariously in the first place is that any "improvement" in the current Keynesian econometric stupidities will only be "allowed" if the "New! Improved!" models show a gnawing need for even MORE insane creations of money and credit, and a bigger and bigger government to regulate more people and businesses, and an even bigger and bigger government to help more and more people! Hahahaha!

 

Look! I'm laughing again! Hahahaha!

 

The Economist magazine blithely ignores my cruel taunting and disrespectful jibes, and continues merrily along, as if I don't even exist, gliding over the fact that Keynesianism is a complete, total failure, and merely noting that it is a real dud because it does not reflect "the financial system accurately, nor allow for the booms and busts observed in the real world."

 

The big problem is that the whole basis of Keynesian theory rests on the idea that economies and economic actors seek equilibrium, when any idiot knows that systems inexorably tend towards disequilibrium and chaos, as in obeying the laws of entropy, and it takes energy to keep that collapse from happening, which is, of course, the opportunity for successful capitalism.

 

The first job of these patch-'em and fix-'em guys is to, surprisingly then, "put banks into the models"!   Hahaha! I thought they were already in there! Who knew, huh? Hahaha!

 

The reason, The Economist magazine explains, that banks are NOT already in the stupid neo-Keynesian econometric models is because "macroeconomists thought of them as a simple 'veil' between savers and borrowers, rather than profit-seeking firms that make loans opportunistically and may themselves affect the economy." They did? Where have they been for the couple of last decades? Hahaha! Dorks!

 

And because I desperately want to know, exactly how DOES one mathematically describe the variable functions of banks making loans variously opportunistically, and variously in response to new and various governmental regulations and/or tax law, variously affecting the economy, especially when the foul Federal Reserve (a bank!) is permanently at the heart of it, purposely creating variously monstrous amounts of excess money and credit to satisfy the always-insatiable, gluttonous, ravenous appetite of the federal government for deficit-spending nigh unto bankruptcy and inflationary economic collapse?

 

Thus we learn that, if life was fair, this is where The Economist magazine would have put in a quote from me, perhaps along the lines of "The Marvelous And Wonderful Mogambo (TMAWM) is quoted as saying 'People who believe this preposterous neo-Keynesian econometric crap are morons, and I say this without fear of contradiction because it is blatantly obvious that it is not remotely possible to create such a monstrous huge clot of equations and their bastard derived-and-substituted offspring -- with the laughable precision of three decimal places, for crying out loud! -- about something as grossly inexact as human behavior that didn't have so incredibly much error built into every tiny piece of it that any real information -- if any! -- is immediately drowned out by the deafening statistical noise in such a bizarre, error-multiplying, iterative system, especially one that is That Freaking Big (TFB).'"

 

On the other hand, one can dispense with the dismal failure of all of that silly Keynesian hocus-pocus, and the expensive computers needed to run it, by just making the dollar be gold so that the money supply is fixed, let the government die and take its onerous, crippling tonnage of regulatory burden to hell with it, let the free market and sound money take care of business, and everything will be fine, to which I say "Hahahaha!" and let go with a hearty guffaw or two if you think that the government is going to allow that! Hahaha! Guffaw! Guffaw!

 

Since that is NOT going to happen by a long shot, to protect oneself from the coming financial disaster, one need merely do the One Smart Thing (OST), which is to buy gold and silver bullion, as is proved by thousands of years of history, replete as it is with governments containing the selfsame traitorous treacheries as the horrid Nancy Pelosi ("Let's all hurry up and vote for the Obamacare bill so that we can find out what's it!"), which is the horrifying history of governments and peoples doing these same, sad, silly, suicidal stupidities that have now killed us today, as in "We're Freaking Doomed (WFD)."

 

And with One Smart Thing (OST) having a fabulous 100% successful track record like that, how can one NOT buy gold and silver bullion, and oil stocks, too, and then chortle with a gleeful, gloating self-satisfaction while doing so?

 

The while the use of the phrase "Whee! This investing stuff is easy!" whilst doing so is, of course, entirely optional, you take it from me, and from Junior Mogambo Rangers (JMRs) around the world and in this whole quadrant of the galaxy, that it feels so wonderfully good,  to finally be a guaranteed winner for a change, that the words just seem to come tumbling out.

 

Whee, indeed! Whee!

The soothing lullaby of the Junior Mogambo Ranger (JMR)

January 22, 2013

Mogambo Guru

 

To vividly demonstrate how rude people can be these days, let me recount a recent experience at the grocery store.

 

A guy, we'll call him Tom, and he is coming across the parking lot to go into the grocery store behind me.  I recognize him, and, for me, it was a kind of reunion, and I thought he would be as happy to see me as I was happy to see him.

 

But he wasn't.

 

He had his ragamuffin wife and kids with him, and they were all apparently in some kind of bad mood as they trudged along towards me, and I could see them looking at me furtively, and hear them muttering amongst  themselves "Oh, no! It's that creepy old guy who is always trying to get us to buy gold bullion, silver bullion and oil stocks because the evil Federal Reserve has created so impossibly much money and credit that the inflation in prices will destroy us!"

 

At this I kind of beamed, and was pleased that he learned something about monetary policy from our earlier encounter!

 

Then I hear Tom say to his wife "And he even suggested that we dump the kids, because the deadweight burden of our own children will hasten our demise, and with the money we will save we could buy bullion because it is imperative that we own gold and silver, in which case we shall be rich, rich, rich, and then we can afford to get our own kids back, or buy as many new kids as we want!"

 

Well, regardless of your politics, ethics, morality, having even a shred of human decency, or what kind of inhuman monster could think up such a despicable idea, you gotta admit that the logic is, nonetheless, iron-clad.  But research shows that this "dump the kids and buy gold with the savings!" as a wealth-management idea never really, you know, resonated with investors.

 

Now Tom, in a rude kind of ugly way, snarls "Get out of my way, you idiot!" at me as he hurriedly brushes past!

 

Instantly, by virtue of my Mogambo Empathic Nature (MEN) combined with cursory brushes with genuine psychiatric/psychological mumbo-jumbo, I knew that 1) henceforth I would call him Turd-Face, and 2) that he was not actually angry with me, per se, but angry with himself.

 

The reason is that he is now embarrassingly revealed as, obviously, not following my Fabulous Mogambo Advice (FBA), which was to buy gold, silver and oil because the foul Federal Reserve is killing us with roaring monetary inflation which will inevitably produce roaring price inflation and insuring that, from a purely objective and scientific perspective, We're Freaking Doomed (WFD).

 

And the Fed has created the dollars, and price inflation was created, and the Fed is, and price inflation is, and the Fed will continue to create untold trillions more dollars every year, and price inflation will continue to get horrendously worse from here until, as you probably suspected, the aforementioned We're Freaking Doomed (WFD).

 

But ol' Turd-Face didn't buy them, and now he is here, and to look at him is to pity him, where angels weep for him, and the mocking voice of The Wrathful Mogambo (TWM) rings out loud and clear, "Moron!"

 

And speaking of rude, people ask me lots of rude questions, too, such as the popular question "Are you as stupid as you sound?", and "Do you ever shut up?", or the equally popular question "Do I have to call a cop?"

 

The answers are yes, yes and no.

 

Then again, sometimes they ask me intelligent questions, too, like about gold, as in "How much gold does the United States own, in total, including the gold stored at Fort Knox, and under the Federal Reserve, and probably at other places I don't even know about, and nobody knows about, because all the records have been altered by a bunch of lying, traitorous crooks who are stealing the gold to finance the impending invasion of extraterrestrial spaceships coming to conquer the Earth?"

 

Well, as far as "how much" gold there is, wikipedia.com lists the gold holdings of the "sovereign United States" as 8,133.5 tonnes of gold, which, at about 32,000 gold ounces per tonne, is 260.3 million ounces, which pretty much agrees with the figure of 261 million ounces claimed by the Federal Reserve, which, at $1,670, per ounce is a lousy $436 billion.

 

Those of you who parse everything I say, perhaps looking for Secret Mogambo Messages (SMM) about the pending invasion of the Earth by alien creatures from beyond time and space, doubtlessly have noticed that I said that the entire gold holdings of the Federal Reserve is a "lousy $436 billion," which I delightfully do with disdain because -- it's no secret! -- it's such a piece of chump-change!

 

I mean, the damnable, bankrupting, moronic, treasonous federal government DEFICIT-spends that selfsame $436 billion every three months! Which doesn't even count the $2.4 trillion spending in the federal government's budget that IS funded by actual taxes, duties and fees! Hahaha!

 

So, you can see why I am laughing at the gold in Fort Knox, when every bit of all that gold is only enough, measured in today's dollars, to replace the federal government's massive BORROWING for a few lousy months, and then the gold is all gone! 

 

And, perhaps more telling, is that very bit of gold held by the federal government would only pay for 6 weeks of government spending!   Hahaha! What a public-relations faux pas, which rhymes with "Hahaha!", which I point out for no particular reason, other than perhaps as a desperate cry for the help I so obviously need.

 

This means that the Federal Reserve will, instead of selling the gold and looking like a bunch of chumps, print the $1.6 trillion to buy the newly-issued government bonds over the next year, which the government will spend, which will cause the money supply to go up, prices will have to rise, people will suffer and complain, the economy will slow, round and round with more money, and more inflation, and more suffering at every turn until everyone realizes We're Freaking Doomed (WFD)!  Doomed I tells ya!

 

Which, if history is any guide, won't be long in coming, and, unfortunately, there ain't nothin' that anybody can do to stop it.  Soon and inevitable.  Ugh. Ergo my dismal outlook on things economic.

 

Sometimes this surprising fact is enough to elicit a life-changing, sudden, spontaneous flash of transcendental enlightenment, turning an average, unsuspecting man or woman, perhaps not unlike yourself in many ways, into an instantaneous, genuine Junior Mogambo Ranger (JMR).

 

To be a JMR is to be characterized by being scared out of one's wits by the irresponsible, insane, incomprehensible madness of current monetary and fiscal policies that guarantee soaring price inflation, leading to the JMR to feverishly buy gold and silver in a panic-driven mania at the dire dread of the darkening doom, and to take advantage of the fact that these precious metals are so laughably, insanely, ridiculously undervalued right now.

 

The situation is indeed dire, and only the absolute, dead-bang, lead-pipe-cinch certainty that the prices of gold, silver and oil will go up, up and up, making oodles and oodles of luscious, life-changing, massive capital gains for its lucky owners, makes it all bearable.

 

Hence the soothing lullaby of the Junior Mogambo Ranger (JMR): "Whee! This investing stuff is easy!"

The Grand Council Of The Universe

January 12, 2013

Mogambo Guru

 

I have been extraordinarily busy lately responding to an inter-stellar memo from Zygarb, the new hotshot poobah of the Grand Council Of The Universe, of whom I know nothing except that he is a dumb-ass jerk, he thinks that I am disrespectful, and that Earthlings are de-evolving back into the primordial slime because the un-fittest genetic mutants of the population don't die young anymore, but live and breed.

In particular, he demands to know that if, as an Earthling named Milton Friedman so famously said, that "inflation is always and everywhere a monetary phenomenon," how come his stash of gold is not rising in price in tandem with the rise in prices, which John Williams, another Earthling, calculated in his Shadowstats.com website is over 9%?

Nine Freaking Percent (NFP)! Yikes! At that rate, prices will double prices in 8 years!

But as high and frightening as that is, it pales in comparison to the increases in the world's money supply as the central banks are creating, every day, insane amounts of money and credit to forestall the inevitable financial collapse of a stupid fiat-money economy, resulting in highly-indebted people, highly-indebted companies, highly-indebted governments and a bizarre, bloated, suicidal government-centric economy.

You, and Zygarb, are right to wonder why general prices are not soaring, and thus why gold is not soaring in price, and thus why you are not dancing around the house, giggling and laughing and saying "We're freaking rich!"

Well, Zygarb and you certainly have a good point, which is difficult to explain if you don't understand the concept of lag-time, which is where you do something now, and then something happens later as a direct result.

There are many kinds of lag time. The shortest one I have ever witnessed was one time when I wanted to borrow a few dollars from my wife so that I could get the hell out of the damned house and into some alcoholic beverage to celebrate, as I said, getting the hell out of the damned house.

I said only "Hey! Can I b…" before she instantly -- instantly! --said "No!" 

And it was almost another short-lag-time record when I instantly -instantly! -- realized that the REASON for the hissing, nasty way she said "No!" was because I was a lazy, good-for-nothing, paranoid lunatic whack-job, and she should have listened to her parents, and her friends, and everybody she knew, when they told her "Don't marry that Mogambo Moron (MM) because he is a lazy, good-for-nothing, paranoid lunatic whack-job," but she didn't listen to them, boo-hoo-hoo, and now I am going to hear all about it for the ten-thousandth time.

A much, much longer lag-time, now taking years, is that time between huge increases in the money supply (monetary inflation) and the huge rise in prices (price inflation) that must necessarily result.

Perhaps just by coincidence or by some kind of divine intervention, I dunno which, my attention was grabbed by the title of an essay, which was "Era of Monetary EXPLOSION Will Bring The Worst Inflation of Our Lifetimes."  It was written by Martin D. Weiss, of Money and Markets newsletter, and which expresses my sentiments exactly, including his use of all-capital letters in EXPLOSION, although I would have added, although it was implied,  "We're Freaking Doomed (WFD)!"

He says "the U.S. economy is stumbling, Japan’s economy is dead in the water, and Europe’s has sunk into the long-feared double-dip recession.

"What most people don’t realize is that the global economic weakness is actually a blessing in disguise … because without it, the dramatic expansion of money printing would already be causing an equally dramatic explosion in prices."

In short, the value of the dollar, and most other currencies, will continue to go down because the central banks of the world, including our own despicable Federal Reserve under the chairmanship of the equally-despicable Ben Bernanke, are creating so much money, but thanks to the moribund world economy, the damage will be gradual, if you think 9% inflation is "gradual," but it will ultimately be so, so much worse. Fatal, probably.

 

So buy gold, silver and oil with both hands, using all the money you have at hand, and with all the money you can borrow from neighbors, friends and relatives, because one day soon, like Junior Mogambo Rangers (JMRs) at mogamboguru.com and everywhere across the universe, you will make merry when their prices soar, soar, soar because of the massively, insanely, unbelievable, continual creations of more and more money and credit.

 

And if you do buy gold, silver and oil, then, like the aforementioned JMRs on the aforementioned "one day soon," you will also, perhaps, exclaim gleefully "Whee! This investing stuff is easy!"

Giggling Glee

December 20, 2012

Mogambo Guru

 

 

  Giggling glee born of easy, greasy greed

Higher taxes for millionaires?  First ask yourself "How did they become millionaires?" Then ask yourself "If I'm so smart, how come I'm not a millionaire, too?"

Well, if this helps, I have noticed that one of the differences between us slovenly proletariat trash and millionaires is that they seem to have a lot of perfect teeth and nice haircuts.  So, if you have nice teeth and hair, the data apparently shows that you've got it made, so relax! Haha!

If you don't have these, however, you will need to do it the appropriately-named "hard way", which brings up one Big Important Difference (BID) between us busted-out lowlife dimwits and the millionaires: We spent our money on pure gluttonous consumption, and had a wonderful time for a surprising number of years by virtue of racking up suffocating amounts of debt, whereas millionaires got their millions from profitably (as in compounding the money borrowed from a bank) investing their money in productive, profitable businesses, like making money by making things, or by mining things, or making money merely handling whole oceans of money, or making money by running this towering, engulfing deluge of money created by the evil Federal Reserve through some Wall Street scam, con job, bamboozle or 401(k), or in any of the rest of the gigantic financial services industry which produces, as best I can remember instead of researching it to find out, about 40% of all the profits made in America.

You no doubt noticed that I surprisingly did not use an exclamation point to emphasize such a huge, glaring fact that is destroying this country with some silly, low-IQ, pie-in-the-sky crap about how investing all your retirement money in the stock market is such a good idea when in fact  -- in fact! -- it is a mathematically a guaranteed -- guaranteed! -- loser for the vast majority of trusting, gullible and embarrassingly ignorant people who are stupid enough to think that putting all their money, and their entire financial future, into the general stock market is a "good idea" despite a complete lack of successful historical examples, common sense and the mountains of evidence to the contrary, when, alas, it isn't, as the evidence had already proved, so it's weird anyone would do it.

Anyway, I remember when I found out that investing long-term in stocks is a Big Time Loser (BTL) for the vast majority of people, and a Small Time Loser (STL) for almost everybody else.

For me, it was the Five Stages of Shock.  First, I was in denial, then, in the Second Stage, I was angry, then I was depressed, then I was angry again, then more angry, and then violently angry and scared out my Mogambo Freaking Mind (MFM), where I remain today.

And it's especially bad when dividends from owning stocks are taxed so highly. We're the highest taxers of dividends in the world!

Forbes magazine posted a blog by Austin Johnson on the new changes in taxes on dividends. The top corporate rate on the dividend is now 39.6%.  The recipient of a dividend, if in the top tax bracket, is taxed at 39.6%, too, plus another 3.8% (the new Medicare tax), for a whopping combined tax rate of 65.8l%!

And if you just stupidly add up the tax rates, it comes to an 83% tax! This 83% tax rate is both highly shocking and, unfortunately, a ridiculous and useless concept, except as evidence that I have no idea what I am talking about, as if anyone needed more evidence of that! Hahaha! Come on!

But what else can people do, except buy stocks, with all the trillions and trillions of new dollars being first created by the evil Federal Reserve and then spent by the government? All these tons and tons of new dollars, busily working their economic way down winding, wending paths through an economy's worth of manufacturers, miners and farmers, workers, middlemen, retailers, owners and shareholders, and government itself, all of whom always have to wonder "What to do with all this money rolling in, and how can I get some more of it?"

And what other market can absorb literally trillions and trillions of dollars per year?

Ergo, the stock market has to go up because the government is not going to stop deficit-spending, and thus the Federal Reserve will not stop creating lots and lots of money, and there is nothing else to do with that much freaking money, except maybe buy bonds, which are, alas, Totally, Totally Toxic (TTT).

Get a load of this: With the price of bonds so high, the imputed yield on the 10-year bond is at a tiny, micro, miniscule 1.5%, when even the government's own ludicrously-doctored figures show that inflation in prices is over 2%, and the money supply is expanding by over 10% a year!

It's actually over 8% price inflation, as I gather from John Williams at shadowstats.com, who calculates inflation the old-fashioned way: It measures how much prices went up, more nearly matches the increase in the money supply.

So join with me in asking what kind of morons are buying bonds, thus losing real buying power in inflation-adjusted dollars, when history shows the average yield is about 6%, which means that when the interest rate gets back to its long-term average (if it ever does! Ha!), then the expensive 10-year bond you bought today, yielding a laughably low 1.5%, will have lost 75% of its cost?  Yikes! Big loss!

And this does not even MENTION the reduced spending-power value of the remaining 25% of your dollars, thanks to inflation.  All in all, bondholders will pretty much be wiped out! Yikes!  Nice long-term investing there, dude! Hahahaha!

At this point, you may be asking yourself "What kind of an insulting idiot is this Stupid Mogambo Person (SMP) disrespecting the insurance and retirement investment industries who have to buy bonds because they have no choice, and who are getting screwed along with everybody else, except for the executives, of course, who are all, I am sure, making out like bandits? I hate him!"

Or perhaps you are even rubbing your chin, thoughtfully saying "I hate him, too, just like the guy in the paragraph above, but what he says makes sense!  But I hate him nonetheless after listening to him blabbering and blubbering, rambling incoherently in that loud, stupid voice of his about how We're Freaking Doomed (WFD) because of the inflation in prices that will be caused by the inflation in the money supply because the evil Federal Reserve is forced to create more and more and more money and credit so that the federal government can continually deficit-spend us into a twisted, inflationary hell without the government having to embarrassingly try to auction off such astonishing, astounding, completely unbelievably massive loads of new government debt by actually competing in the credit markets, bidding against other sellers of new debt for a relatively limited pool of private funds, pushing interest rates To The Freaking Moon (TTFM),  destroying America and the world.  I mean, what kind of idiot IS this guy?"

What kind of idiot am I, you ask? Well, I'll TELL you what kind of idiot I am! I am the kind of idiot that that is so stupid that he fails at everything, and the only things at which I did NOT fail are, firstly, to finally recognize and accept my own inherent stupidity, and secondly to wisely acknowledge the correctness of my naturally-suspicious paranoia and cynical hostility towards governments, self-interested salesmen and self-proclaimed "experts."

Thus, I looked, instead, at history to find out what happened all the other times over the last 4,500 years when a government acted this stupidly (most of them, as it turns out), and to find  the ultimate best investment that lasted through it all.

As an aside, I could have saved a LOT of time, learned the same thing about economics, just by reading Hazlitt's nifty book "Economics in One Lesson," or by simply going to Mises.org and getting -- free! -- the glorious wisdom of the Austrian School of economics, thanks to the foresight and work of Lew Rockwell, whom I never actually met, but who must be a busy guy because if I call him up and say to the receptionist "Hey! Ask Lew Rockwell if he will lend me twenty bucks!", I find that he's never available, and they won't even take a message anymore.  So he must be a busy guy!

I can tell by the look on your face that you are not interested in hearing about another smart person who doesn't want to talk to me, either, and what you really, REALLY want to know is "What turns out to be, as the ultimate Idiot's Delight, the best investment during a period of government deficit-spending and money creation about which you have been shooting your mouth off until we are sick of hearing it?"

Well, since you asked so nicely, I am happy to report that you, too, can succeed financially despite any personal shortcomings, such as being a rude moron who dares challenge me instead of cringing before my towering intellect, and/or having severe behavioral difficulties so that your kids hate you because you are a clueless, terrible parent, and your boss and all your co-workers hate you because you are incompetent at your job which makes their jobs harder, and you naturally hate them in return, stabbing them in the back at every turn, sparing no venom, daring to mix metaphors right in front of their stupid little, hateful faces.

And you can financially prosper even if your spouse and your relatives and your neighbors all hate you, too, mostly because they are all a bunch of small-minded Earth-people whose serious lack of intellectual capacity cannot possibly allow them to comprehend the profound inherent safety and strong security, and thus an invaluable neighborhood asset, of having a Mogambo Big Beautiful Bunker (MBBB) in my backyard, bristling with enough firepower and miscellaneous armaments to kill them all a thousand times over if they give me a bunch of crap, which they, so far, don't.

And so the important, profound answer to the question "How to have a successful, wealthy future despite being a complete moron and your own government is acting like one, too"?

 It is (drum roll, please!) to buy gold bullion and silver bullion!

And I think to buy oil stocks, too, because oil has absolutely the most net energy per unit of volume, and it literally comes out of the ground almost ready to use as a fuel. Wow! Talk about intrinsic value that will surely rise with general inflation which is guaranteed by the Federal Reserve creating so much money and credit! How could oil NOT become more expensive?

So, I mean, investment-wise, how could things get any more obvious?  Not stocks. Not bonds. Not houses. Not cash. Not anything but gold, silver and oil.

And speaking of "how" could something possibly be, ones wonders how could one NOT shout loud huzzahs, hoorahs, and heehaws to the highest of heavens, nor feel compelled to excitedly exclaim with a happy, giggling glee born of easy, greasy greed, "Whee! This investing stuff is easy!"?